Guest Post: How to Bat Above Your League

We have a guest post, guys. A male opinion this time, just to shake things up a bit. Stay tuned for more posts.

Have you ever seen those guys going out with women that are much, much more physically attractive than they are? I was recently re-watching the classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit and wondered how a character like that was able to make Jessica Rabbit fall desperately in love with him? Eddie the detective shares my interest and asks the same question with Jessica simply replying “he makes me laugh”.  There’s that and she also makes the reference later on that he is quite talented as a lover.  But there has to be more than just making a gal laugh otherwise every funny guy walking around would be dating a Jessica Rabbit.  So what other factors are involved how for a guy to convince a girl who is much more physically attractive than he is to date him?

Show off the Goods!

Let’s face it fellas, physical attraction is a very influential factor so its important to know what your best physical qualities are and showcase them.  If you’re tall, be sure to stand straight and avoid slouching in sitting encounters.  If you consider yourself to be in good shape then it may be a good idea to ask if she wants to work out with you.

Wordsmithing

Next would be initiating the conversation.  When speaking with the woman, make sure to sound friendly by starting with a joke or a nice compliment (make sure it’s not too intense). Remember to speak in a confident, definitely not shy and awkward manner.  Keep conversations going with questions and stories that she can relate to, which will lead to her being interested in talking to you a consistent basis.

Timing

After a couple of friendly encounters make a move.  I’m sure you will at this point have an idea of whether she would be up for a night out with you alone but I would almost always suggest you plus your friends first.  That way she can see more good qualities about you and also you can signal your buddies to back off so you can at least have some one on one time.  It is important to get some alone time outside your normal meeting places or else you will end up in the dreaded “Friend Zone”.  My rule for the friend zone is pretty simple.  The greater disparity between physical attractiveness levels, the quicker the friend zone expands.

Personality

Almost every girl will say they would rather have a guy with a great personality versus just being ridiculously good looking.  I agree 100% but the truth is that men and women will keep looking for a mate with a bit of both.  Having an attractive personality can still be a powerful factor.  Position yourself as being a fun loving, positive person.  Just like Roger Rabbit, having the ability to make a girl laugh can the edge you need to beating out those male models you assume she really wants to date.

Remember, batting above your league is an uphill battle.  It requires some great strategy, training and a little luck.  Don’t be offended if you’re turned down.  Physical attractiveness is a heavy influence when it comes to attraction and eventually someone will take notice of your talents.

The Mini Stalker

I sometimes suffer from the gum-stuck-to-the-shoe problem. You know, you’re doing your thing, walking around, being yourself, and – bam, – step on something you didn’t see and now the sole of your shoe is covered in gum. How irritating.

The same happens with people sometimes, right? I have a semi-stalker story.

I’m not really bothered by the idea of having a stalker. It was never on the list of “scary things”. Of course, the stalker I have in my mind is the non-threatening type who is too shy to approach me. Something who isn’t frightening or leaving dead pigeons on my doorstep.

I met this person at a celebration last year, and we danced and talked a lot. I definitely received a lot of compliments, which is always nice. He seemed jolly. Was dressed smart, which suited him. Among a group of friends (and without saying much of anything, really) he seemed interesting, so we decided to hang out.

Oh God.

We drove to the beach – or, rather, the “beach” here in Toronto (I don’t count anything that’s on a real ocean as a beach, which does not mean I’m criticizing the Beaches neighborhood – I love it there) – to hang out.  Halfway there, I already felt bored. I talked about work, that fills up some time, and I get really passionate about it.

He didn’t have a job. Oh?

Acting aspirations. Oh, of course! Former snowboard instructor. Oh, that type.

I’ll spare you the date itself, but we sat on a bench, and looked at serene water. It’s not that I started to run out of topics for conversations, it’s that I received agreement to EVERYTHING. He lacked any kind of opinion. He nodded to everything. Or simply had nothing to say.

Then he took out a sketchbook and we did a minimalist rendition of what was in front of us. Few lines, a flicker of a bird, child digging in the sand.

Anyway, I won’t spare you the rest of the depressing details, but I had to kick him out in the evening, after having invited friends over to save me from this terrible visitor.

I never saw him in person again.

But my oh my, did I receive phone calls from random numbers (since he didn’t have a cell phone at the time)! I always received Facebook chats from him. And he liked every status update of mine. And said weird things like, “Hey, you’re a good one.” Yeah, duh. Except that coming from him that phrase sounded oblique and obscure.

And then there were invites to most ridiculous events like the Jay Z concert afterparty. I responded, “uh, sorry, I’m not into rap”. And he said, “Yeah, right, I know u like beatz” or something like that. I think the comment was inspired by my interests in techno. There is a world of difference between Jay Z and German minimal techno.

I received messages with various numbers I should call, and invitations to come out when I was visiting his city. Then he moved to Toronto. Tried to meet up with me, but by then I ignored all his messages.

I didn’t contact him at all, but then he apparently came by my house! He messaged with “Did you get my message from the little Asian lady?” I was a dubious as I didn’t receive anything. He said he was in the ‘hood (uh-huh) and left me a message via her.

That’s where my patience expired.

Seriously. What next – waiting by my work or my house?

So I said, “are you gonna be my stalker now?” he got all offended. Thank gods he did, I wanted him off my back! He finally stopped pestering me and I deleted him from Facebook. No more reminders.

Peaceful!

Takeaway: If there is some advice that I can give, that is to cut the potential stalkers in the beginning. Nip it in the bud. If you have a nice girl (or guy – we all know of a guy with a crazy ex-girlfriend story!) tendencies, you may want to lay it down like it is before they build an imaginary post-wedding life with you.

The Worst Online Dating Profile

What are the elements of a crappy online dating profile? Take note, and edit yours if need be. I’ll cheat and tell you that you should do as you see fit, but applying the 180 degree turn to the following information would be a smart idea.

Pretend your neighbor wrote your profile. Include all the basic things like “going out with friends”, “playing sports”, “reading books”, “watching movies/TV”. You should not lie and add the most basic TV shows that the whole country knows and watches, because god knows that American Idol differentiates you from the rest.

Adjectives 101. Of course you are smart, funny, athletic, caring, spontaneous, honest, serious. Don’t forget adventurous and curious. Just fill the page with adjectives. Thesaurus.com is a great place for finding more.

Sound as mechanical as possible. Robots can also fill out dating profiles, don’t you know? One-word answers are much appreciated too. Also “ask me” call to action really does the trick if you follow all other rules listed here.

Post an ugly photo of yourself. And if you don’t have any uglies, then make sure you’re wearing sunglasses or hats in your photo. Preferably both at the same time. Shirtless photos are excellent for men, and bikini shots are recommended for women. No smiling (assume passport photo attitude).

Do not compare your profile to others in your area. The less competitive analysis you do & make less attempts to differentiate yourself, the better. In no way should you stand out.

It’s good to talk about the past. It’s important to show that you still remember all the terrible things that happened between you and your ex. Accept that, mention it on your profile. Emphasize the importance of honesty and loyalty in the presence!

Jokes are OK! To show off your sense of humor (listed in the first point), do keep your profile funny. People like to laugh and everybody wants a joker in their social circles.

List your long-term relationship goals. It’s important to tell everyone what kind of family life you are looking for. They need to know what they’re getting themselves into. If you want to settle down with 3  kids in a suburban home, Golden retriever Maggie and a giant grill, say it now!

You can tweak the truth a little. According to Personals Trainer, women tend to lie about their weight and age. Men lie about height and income. Go ahead and support the statistic. Embellish the reality a little, god knows it’s a dreary life out there.

Wait for magic. Things do happen when you complete a personals profile in accordance with the above formula. I promise your inbox is going to explode w

Had a good laugh yet?